truth Archives - The Millionaire Hippie

The More You Know, The Less You Realize You Know – The More Relaxed You Become

Post published:April 22, 2019
Reading time:6 mins read

When I was in my twenties, I thought I knew everything. Like a typical young know-it-all, I thought I had discovered the secrets to the world. In my opinion, every one around me was foolish, and I was the only smart one holding the answer key to life’s questions.

But weirdly enough, the more I thought I knew, the more nervous I became about life. Life was scary somehow. If I knew all of the answers, then where did I have to go from here? Where could I go but down from here?

Also, what if the answers I had were completely false? What if I think I know, but I actually don’t know? But I have to keep on pretending to know, because I made such a big show about knowing to everyone in my life. I can’t say I don’t know anything anymore, because then I will look foolish in everyone’s eyes.

This nervousness didn’t leave my life for a long time.

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Why Are People So Afraid Of Intense People Like Me?

Post published:July 25, 2018
Reading time:5 mins read

“Dial it down.” “Calm down.” “Don’t be so much.” “Stop being so high.” “You are too intense.” “Why are you always too much?”

I have heard these statements all of my life. It wasn’t mildly annoying to hear these words thrown at me on a daily or weekly basis. It was extremely degrading, and humiliating. I hated myself for being too much. I wanted to feel less, I wanted to be less, and I wanted to do less.

Cool as a cucumber. Cool as so many of those ice princesses roaming around, who felt nothing, or at least they looked like they felt nothing. I wanted to be like them. Desperately.

Over time, I realized it was a hopeless endeavour. I wasn’t ever going to be like them.

If someone broke my heart, I wasn’t going to be calmly posting about it on Instagram or prowling the clubs dressed up to the nines looking for my next victim. I was going to be raging against the machine, screaming, crying, wailing about the unfairness of it all. And more. (more…)