healing

When I was younger, in my twenties, I didn’t believe in myself enough. Whatever the reason might have been, I believed that I wasn’t strong enough to handle everything that life sent at me. I thought I was weak, and I needed other people. There wasn’t enough stuff inside of me to handle all of the shit that the universe hurled at me (of course, I hadn’t discovered that adage that the universe only sends at you, what you can handle).

All of this to say, because I wasn’t enough to myself, I always searched for meaning, and ideas, and support outside of myself. I wanted to be more, I wanted to be enough, but I believed that I wasn’t. Thus, I searched for stuff outside myself.

I say this because it is important to say this out loud. I see so many people every single day asking me for help and feedback and I am happy to give them the initial push to where they want to go. But, I always end every email or message with the same warning – the more we search for something outside of ourselves, the more we are going to be lost.