authentic Archives - The Millionaire Hippie

The Day You Stop Racing, Is The Day You Win The Race

Post published:September 3, 2018
Reading time:5 mins read

Bob Marley said those wise words that make up the title of this post. I am not as wise as him, but the words he said make so much sense to me that I wanted to share my own experience with them. Everything comes to us in exactly the right time.

These words came to me in a moment where I was racing so hard that I was killing myself. I was racing against time, beyond time, and hoping to beat time. I was working 18 hours a day, and not able to rest fully at night. I was fulfilled, don’t get me wrong. I was happy. I thought this was what I was supposed to be doing. And probably in those moments of time, I was. I absolutely was meant to be doing that.

But as moments passed by, the message became clear. I had to stop racing against time. The race had to end, or I would die racing.

To put it into real life terms, the universe was sending me the signal, that the more I was doing, the further away from myself I was running off to. Even though, I was spending my time working on projects that meant the world to me, it still didn’t mean anything. It still meant that I was running around, being inauthentic to my true self. My true self just wanted to sit around, create, be lazy, and grow immeasurably through that laziness. (more…)

Every Person’s Idea Of Success Should Be Different

Post published:August 17, 2018
Reading time:4 mins read

I was sitting on Facebook, as per usual, doing some work, or pretending to do some work, while I stalked some of my friends and friends’ friends. And I saw that a friend of mine was visiting Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. She is a major Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu fiend, and thus, her post was about how she spends all of her time in KL either working, or taking lessons for both of these sports.

Instantly, my mind which can be an evil place, ran to putting me down. When I was in KL the last time around, all I did was work a little bit, walk around, sit in coffee shops, write, and shop.

Of course, in my head, her trip was a success, and mine was not. I berated myself for being lazy, and more.

Why did I do that to myself? I had so much fun on my trip, doing the things that I loved to do. Why does her trip seem like a success to me, and mine does not? Why am I using someone else’s benchmark for a successful trip for my own? (more…)

Why Are People So Afraid Of Intense People Like Me?

Post published:July 25, 2018
Reading time:5 mins read

“Dial it down.” “Calm down.” “Don’t be so much.” “Stop being so high.” “You are too intense.” “Why are you always too much?”

I have heard these statements all of my life. It wasn’t mildly annoying to hear these words thrown at me on a daily or weekly basis. It was extremely degrading, and humiliating. I hated myself for being too much. I wanted to feel less, I wanted to be less, and I wanted to do less.

Cool as a cucumber. Cool as so many of those ice princesses roaming around, who felt nothing, or at least they looked like they felt nothing. I wanted to be like them. Desperately.

Over time, I realized it was a hopeless endeavour. I wasn’t ever going to be like them.

If someone broke my heart, I wasn’t going to be calmly posting about it on Instagram or prowling the clubs dressed up to the nines looking for my next victim. I was going to be raging against the machine, screaming, crying, wailing about the unfairness of it all. And more. (more…)

8 Reasons Why I’m Such A Gypsy At Heart

Post published:November 24, 2016
Reading time:7 mins read

I have a gypsy heart.

I have fought with everyone around me for years now. They think the lifestyle I want – the Digital Nomad lifestyle isn’t feasible long-term. I disagree vehemently, and I have fought with not only my parents over this, but my now ex-partners, friends, and random strangers on the street.

That’s the sad thing to me. I never argue with them over their choices, but people always seem to want to argue with me over my choices. That irks me. It really really irks me.

Everyone Wants To Argue With Me

Why is everyone so against what I want to do with my life? Why are they so willing to argue with me over it? What is this need they have to argue with me over the choices that I have undertaken, when I am not asking them for any feedback or recommendations or suggestions.

Obviously, all of this aggression against my choices made me wonder why is everyone so against me? I truly want to find out if I was making wrong choices, or were people just randomly against me because I was making them feel that their life choices were wrong and they were trying to bring me down. (more…)

I’m Not A Writer. I’m Not A Singer. I’m Not An Actor. I’m Not A Dancer.

Post published:November 7, 2016
Reading time:6 mins read

Ever since, I moved to Chiang Mai (CM), not that long ago, I have been on a personal pilgrimage. I started off thinking this trip was going to be about one thing – working on my business, and that alone was my reason to come to CM. The first week passed in a flurry of getting used to my apartment, finding internet, finding a water delivery service, finding good places to eat at, fixing broken microwaves, lamps, and finally, getting used to the damn heat.

Throughout this, I kept on doing my morning pages that I had started on September 11th, 2016. Every morning, I sat down like clockwork, and wrote 3 long-hand pages of stream-of-consciousness. Due to my move to CM, and the resulting loss of identity, ego, and routine, I found that the morning pages were revealing long-lost parts of myself. I rediscovered a love for the theatre, singing, watercolour painting, walking, and fashion. It was as if I had been asleep for a long time, and all of a sudden, I was waking up.

Self-Discovery Is A Journey, Not The End Product

The self-discovery process is still going strong, but a lot of my ‘I’m nots’ have been disappearing away. I used to believe, I’m not an actress. I’m not a singer. I’m not a dancer. I’m not a writer. I’m not a storyteller. I had a billion stories I told myself, all of which were false. In taking these stories out of myself and seeing them for the falsehoods they were, I realized, Yes, I’m a writer, singer, dancer, actress, painter, and whatever else I wanted to be. (more…)