all knowing

When I was in my twenties, I thought I knew everything. Like a typical young know-it-all, I thought I had discovered the secrets to the world. In my opinion, every one around me was foolish, and I was the only smart one holding the answer key to life’s questions.

But weirdly enough, the more I thought I knew, the more nervous I became about life. Life was scary somehow. If I knew all of the answers, then where did I have to go from here? Where could I go but down from here?

Also, what if the answers I had were completely false? What if I think I know, but I actually don’t know? But I have to keep on pretending to know, because I made such a big show about knowing to everyone in my life. I can’t say I don’t know anything anymore, because then I will look foolish in everyone’s eyes.

This nervousness didn’t leave my life for a long time.